The huge amount of pressure on young girls to let their boyfriends get away with everything and not to stand up for themselves, lest they stop being a ‘chill girlfriend’ and instead become a horrible, controlling harpy is such bullshit.
Stop teaching young girls that demanding to be treated with respect and courtesy makes them shrill, over-emotional, or unworthy of listening to.
After she came up to me and said, “I’ve been with my partner for 20 years… We would never get married because he’s on social security income, and because my daughter is disabled I have secondary income from the state to support my daughter. If I got married, both my benefits and his benefits would be reduced because we would become a double income family.”
She was explaining that marriage doesn’t work for poor people, and that it doesn’t work for disabled people. Having really simple examples like hers are important.
this is important. for a lot of low income folks on government benefits, marriage is against their financial self-interest. trying to put a dollar amount of the symbolic value of marriage is hard.(via abbyjean)